The most commonly reported behavior was kissing a partner on the mouth. For instance, study participants that identified as gay reported 1,308 unique combinations of sexual behaviors. Well, the truth is, each individual, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, has different sexual preferences, behaviors, and experiences. You might have read that statistic and thought, ”How is that possible?” Fortunately, recent research proves what I was trying to illustrate so long ago - that penetrative anal sex only occurs in about a third of sexual encounters between cisgender gay men. I was only able to do so much to expand their views about gay sex, especially in a climate where the lives and experiences of LGBTQ people are still stigmatized and where six states have laws that expressly forbid teachers from discussing LGBTQ issues. It was only until I had had enough of butt jokes from cisgender straight friends that I realized that they thought of relationships cisgender gay men only have penetrative anal sex. I found that sex included consent, trust, kissing, masturbation, oral intercourse, and more. Coming into my identity as a cisgender black gay young man, I used the internet to increase my understanding of sex and healthy relationships. Growing up, the sex education lessons that I received in school were exclusive of LGBTQ people and solely focused on intercourse between a cisgender straight man and woman.
